Celia's Blog has Moved!

Hello there, blog readers near and far!  Thanks for visiting my page.  Please note that this blog has moved.

This blog was the result of a year-long effort to write a post every day while trying to make improvements to various areas of my life.  After the year ended, it seemed appropriate that the blog should end too.

Wander on over to http://theceliachronicles.blogspot.com/ for new updates :)

May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

"May the odds be ever in your favor!"

This phrase is the tagline to Suzanne Collins’ bestselling series, The Hunger Games.  In the book, these are the words spoken elatedly by the ever-bubbly Effie Trinket, the Capitol’s liaison to District 12, the backwash of Panem marked only by a layer of soot and bodies worn thin by meager meals.  The words are offered as encouragement to those children about to be entered into the Hunger Games, a death match of 24 children put on each year to encourage the districts to keep in their proper place and satiate the desire of the Capitol citizens for drama- and suspense-laden entertainment.  On the surface, it seems like a nice sentiment…”may the odds be ever in your favor.”  A nice thought, hoping that destiny will be kind to you.   A nice thought...until its underlying meanings are revealed.  “May you not be chosen to be entered into a fight to the death.”  “May you not be brutally killed by someone just like you.”  “May you have no trouble killing other people before they kill you.”

“May the odds be ever in your favor” actually signifies, “Good luck getting out of a system that is dead set against you.”

But what if things weren’t set on odds?  What if instead of casually hoping that the odds work out for your privilege at the expense of someone else, the odds were eliminated? 

A system built on odds always privileges someone at the expense of others.  May the odds be ever in your favor.  May you be born a citizen of the Capitol instead of a citizen of the districts.  Or, in our own reality, may you be born a citizen of the wealthy West rather than the third world.  May your life be filled with extravagance and excess instead of with the sweatshop work that forms the foundation of such excess.

I’ve often heard people say that they are poor.  Since I run in American middle-class circles, this is very rarely true.  Usually, it’s in jest, like the proverbial “poor college students” who feel poor because they’ve spent all their money on cheesesticks.  Often, it’s people lamenting about how they can’t afford the latest technological gadget because they’ve spent a bunch of money on the previous month’s latest gadget.  Most of the people who toss about the word “poor” like it’s nothing still have roofs over their heads, food in their cupboards, and clothes in their closet.  That’s because believing oneself to be poor, more often than not, is relative to a perceived notion of not-poor, an idealized vision of life where the odds are, in fact, ever in your favor.

But I have a newsflash for middle-class America.  You’re living in the Capitol.

The mark of the Capitol is excess.  Suzanne Collins portrays this brilliantly in the fashions of Capitol citizens, dressed to the nines in the latest getup of green skin with rhinestone accents or aqua hair and leopard spots.  They eat at buffets while people in the districts starve.  They hold banquets featuring vials of liquid that make them vomit so that they can eat all the hundreds of delicacies available.  They view the Hunger Games as wonderful entertainment, comfortable in the knowledge that their own children will never be subject to its cruelties and sufficiently distanced from the people of the districts to keep from viewing them as real people with real lives that are being jeopardized.

How very like our own world, where we buy cheap luxuries at grand department stores, hundreds of thousands of miles away from the foreign factory where they were produced, often by people working 20-hour days on a salary less than the cost of our morning cup of coffee. 

This is the danger of a consumer-driven culture.  When things become all about “me,” it’s easy to forget about the “other” who made your life as comfortable as it is.

If you have ever called yourself “poor,” then I want to give you a challenge.  I challenge you to look around the room, wherever you may be, and find something that is not a necessity.  Personally, as I sit here in my living room, it’s that stack of rainbow coffee mugs that I hardly ever use.  It’s the Wii game console that sits under my flatscreen TV.  It’s the electric keyboard, the acoustic guitar, the hundred DVDs that fill my bookshelf.  And that’s just a glimpse into the living room…go into the kitchen and it’s the cans of soup that have been in my cupboard for two years because I’ve always had something else to eat.  Go into the bedroom closet, and it’s the clothes that I own but never wear, or the shoes that hurt my feet and rarely see the light of day. 

Now that we’re in the closet, let’s think about clothes.  Because certainly, clothes are a necessity.  They keep us warm when it’s cold, keep us cool when it’s warm, and protect us from all the elements in between.  They keep us comfortable.  Where do we get this comfort?  Personally, my clothes most often come from Old Navy and Kohls.  At least, that’s where I think my clothes come from.  But the answer is not so simple…the Old Navy top I’m wearing right now was made in Cambodia.  My purple T-shirt dress from Kohls was made in Vietnam.  The collared shirt I bought for job interviews last year was made in Indonesia.  As my favorite stores outsource to different countries for their production, as leisure goods become cheaper and cheaper by a populace who thinks they deserve every luxury at the lowest price, the workers of the world are exploited and my comfort is brought about at the cost of human dignity. 

Why?  Because the odds are in my favor.

I was born in America.  I have been afforded every opportunity for education and general well-being.  Even the student loans that often cause me to hypocritically complain of being “poor” are greater gifts than much of the world experiences…how dare my government provide me with money for my education!  How dare they help me attain the means to a higher salary!  While that money is certainly borrowed and will be paid back over a great amount of time, it’s given me opportunities that most of the world doesn’t have.  The oppressed poor are kept subordinate by a lack of provisionary goods and intense labor, while the products of their work are sent off to the wealthy West.  Sent to the people and countries who rule the world, and who run the system.  Sent to the Capitol.

I was born in America.  But I could have been born in Cambodia, or Vietnam, or Indonesia.  I could have been born into a life where I work for the comfort of others.  But instead, I was born into a life where others work for my comfort.

Maybe Panem isn’t as fictional as it seems.  Maybe the dystopian society that Suzanne Collins has created bears more resemblance to our own world than we would like to realize.

What is perhaps most harrowing, most angering in Effie Trinket’s cheerful appeal for favorable odds is the constant awareness that the odds will never be in the favor of District 12.  As the story is told from the viewpoint of the unprivileged, this is eminently clear from start to finish.  Why should the chance for a dignified life be left to odds?  Shouldn’t something be done to balance things out?  The beautiful thing about the problem of unfair distribution of wealth is that something can be done about it.  The solution is simple, really.  To fix the unfair distribution of wealth, redistribute the wealth.  Spend $400 on medical supplies for third world citizens instead of on an iPad.  Pay a little extra for fair trade items.  Find the excess in your own life, cut it out, and give the rest away.  It’s certainly not going to fix the system entirely, but it will make a difference to individual lives.  Even if the unfair system can’t be easily overturned, we can do our part within the system to redistribute the wealth that has been accumulating on our end for far too long.  And more than anything, be aware.  Remember that you are rich.  Remember that your comfort is built off the discomfort of others.  And after you’ve remembered, decide to do something about it. 

Remember that the odds are in your favor.  Help the odds be in someone else’s favor as well.

Crafting!

I'm posting my first non-required post in honor of two successful crafting projects which were completed tonight!

Project One: Swirly Decorative Cross

Materials: One J. Crew Catalog and Hot Glue

Time to Completion: 2 days (a LOT of folding and a LOT of gluing)

Project Two: Decorative Earring Holder

Materials: Lace Tablecloth and Crochet Hoop

Time to Completion: 2 minutes (basically putting the fabric in the hoop and cutting around the edges)

Hooray for making pretty things!

The Final Tally.

Well, it's December 31, 2011.  You know what that means.

My year of blogging has drawn to a close.

When I started out on this project, my goal was to give myself some means of accountability to those pesky New Years Resolutions that people like to make, given that I had quite a lot of them.  Although this blog evolved into less of a commentary on the self-improvement adventure and more into a writing outlet for general reflection, I think it only right that we take a look back at those resolutions, and see what's changed.  Because I like order and list-making, each resolution will be given one of the following labels: Achieved, Progress Made, or Not Yet Achieved.

So here we go!

1) Getting Fit

Well, the grand weight loss total for those of you keeping score at home is...wait for it...5 lbs.  YEAH baby!! To be fair, I actually lost about 12 pounds in the first half of the year, and then gained back 7 in the second half of the year.  But, I'm about 5 lbs lighter than I was at the beginning of the year, and that's something.  More specifically, that's a shirt size.  I also acquired some good exercise tools, including the purchase of a Wii Fit and Just Dance game, found some workout buddies, and gave my SMU fitness center membership a whirl.  All of these things could probably stand to be used a bit more, but I think this year has put some substantial tools in my toolbox.  With an arsenal of entertaining workout equipment and an overall loss of weight throughout the year, I think that although I may not have attained massive fitness change, I have set myself on the right path and given myself a good starting point for future fitness endeavors.  Therefore, PROGRESS MADE.

2) Eating Healthier

Let's be real, people.  I'm still not the healthiest of eaters.  I still have a weakness for Nutella and occasionally bake and eat an entire batch of cookies over the course of a week.  But, that being said, overall I've noticed that my general portion sizes have actually gone down, as far as most meals are concerns.  Furthermore, I've become less inclined to eat when I'm not hungry and more inclined to wait until I'm hungry to eat a meal.  Also, my present job provides me with a free nutritious lunch every day I go into work, courtesy of the senior citizens' nutrition program that the church hosts.  So, like the "Get Fit" resolution, I'm feeling pretty good about the reorienting that has happened this year; I may not be a super-health-freak, but I'm also not overeating quite as much.  Ergo, PROGRESS MADE.

3) Rejuvenating Relationship with God

To be very, very frank, this was probably the hardest resolution for me to keep.  Ironic, since I'm a seminary student.  I think this is a result of two things: first, the academicizing of God brought on by my school assignments, and secondly, my personal tendency to want to control everything about my life and contingent difficulty in trusting God for things.  However, recently (and I mean VERY recently, as in less than a month), I've started to move in a good direction with this, thanks to guidance from my internship mentor and others.  So, although I would have hoped for this resolution to have gotten more attention, I think it's fair to label it as PROGRESS MADE.

4) Getting Involved in a Church

This resolution was actually ACHIEVED with flying colors.  Within a month or two of the start of the year, I started regularly attending a weekly Bible Study comprised of five other women, and it's possibly one of the best things I could have done.  Although it took some work for me to become fully comfortable with myself and a lot of dedication to continue going even when I felt awkward (there's a lot of church baggage in my past), I'm so thankful for these women and for the opportunity the group gives me to talk about God in a context that isn't being graded.  For awhile, I was semi-regularly attending the local church out of which this Bible Study is based, but since I began working at another church in August I've obviously begun attending there and, equally obviously, got very involved with that church.  So thanks to pushing myself out of my comfort zone and thanks to my masters' program requirements, I am now more involved in a church than I have ever been previously.  Two thumbs up for resolutions achieved!

5) Being a Better Student

This resolution mostly boils down to the task of actually completing the majority of the readings assigned to us, and completing them in a timely fashion.  Although I'm not so sure how it happened, this past semester I completed nearly all the readings for two of my classes - the other class, I realized very early on, tested entirely from lecture notes, and therefore this reading regularly got chopped in favor of other classes that were more text-based.  But I came out of the semester with a 4.0 term GPA and a 3.976 cumulative GPA, which sets me up nicely for the possibility of a summa cum laude graduation in May.  I also got into the habit of having regular "study" days, created by the natural rhythm of balancing work, class, and homework, and that has been a really good thing.  So being a better student, and not just sliding by on a minimum amount of work has been wonderfully ACHIEVED.

6) Being a Better Employee

This goal was actually written in reference to my previous home-based job, which I quit in July.  But, carrying it over to my current job, I've found myself continually pushing myself out of my comfort zone in order to do the best job that I can, and biting the bullet of intimidating tasks head-on.  I've meshed really well with my current congregation, despite ethnic differences, and I've created projects from the ground up.  I have also found increasing clarity of vocation and now have a better idea of what sorts of jobs I will be applying for post-graduation (and have applied to several).  So being a better employee: ACHIEVED.

7) Being More Open

I defined this goal as "not holding grudges or judging people."  Honestly, this probably still needs some work. But, to open up the definition of "open," my current job allows me to interact with all sorts of people that I would never have previously had the opportunity to interact with, being an ethnically and economically diverse church.  I've established relationships with people of all colors, ages, and incomes, and I feel that I've grown significantly in seeing the beauty in people, regardless of their background.  So overall, I'll say that there has been PROGRESS MADE...even if I need to work on letting go of grudges every now and then.

8) Being More Confident

This was a good one.  I don't know how much you can plan to be confident, but different circumstances throughout the year certainly improved my general confidence here in Dallas.  I specifically think of my summer Greek class as a breaking point with this, when I built a general camaraderie with my classmates despite not knowing anyone in the class previously.  I also learned a bunch about dating/relationships, and have stopped "giggling like a moron when conversing with men," as my original resolution dictated (in most cases, anyway).  I've also become more vocal in class discussions and become comfortable as a young white women in a work context of multigenerational Filipino families.  So being more confident...that's been ACHIEVED, I should think.

9) Reading for Fun

In evaluating this goal, let's name off the non-assigned books that I've read this year, shall we?  We have, in no particular order, the entire Chronicles of Narnia, the entire Hunger Games trilogy, Revolution (a young adult novel) two or three mystery novels by Agatha Christie, The Great Gatsby, and smatterings of Pride and Prejudice and The Brothers Karamazov.  I think I'm missing some, but that's all I can think of at the moment.  I also got a Kindle for Christmas, so more fun reading is on its way, starting with Life of Pi.  So reading for fun: ACHIEVED.

10) Having Productive Hobbies

This goal might be understood as doing things besides sitting around on the internet and watching all day (very tempting pursuits when one lives alone).  Throughout this year, I've majorly improved my cooking skills just by the natural need to eat, continued playing the guitar, started out on crafting sprees, and recently ordered a professional keyboard.  But, I do still spend an inordinate time on the internet.  So let's say that there has  been PROGRESS MADE, but I'm looking forward to finding more creative ways to fill my time.

11) Exploring Dallas

Thanks to a DART pass and equally exploration-oriented friends, this has been ACHIEVED with fanfare.  In the past year I've located free sushi downtown, explored the West End, discovered the wonder that is Fort Worth, experienced a real Texas rodeo, attended a murder mystery dinner, savored fried foods of all kinds at the State Fair, and groomed horses on a classmate's farm.  I've heard lectures by Julie Powell and the Dalai Lama, and seen Laura Bush in person (and David Freese, though he's in fact in St. Louis).  I've also eaten at all sorts of restaurants and discovered back roads to avoid that notorious Dallas traffic.  Hooray for exploring cities!

12) Getting Involved in Community

I actually never made any concerted efforts to get more involved in the community...but, my current job has given me several opportunities to do so, such as helping with food distribution for the underprivileged and getting to know some of the residents at a local senior citizens center.  I also started regularly contributing to my home church's Ghana mission project, after reading The Hunger Games and realizing that, if those books were reality, I would be one of those frivolous Capital people (read the books and then you'll get the analogy).  Anyway, this discovery was convicting enough to jump start me into regular giving, which has helped me get involved in the worldwide community in an effective way.  So even if it occurred in a roundabout way, this goal has been ACHIEVED...but could obviously always have more added to it.

13) Being More Positive

I think that this blog has really helped me to have a more positive outlook on things...the entire purpose of this blog was, originally, to stop moping and griping about my depressing circumstances, and do things to actively change them.  I think that it has done that.  I've also come out of the particularly dark night that I was experiencing at the beginning of the year, most likely thanks to God more than anything.  But overall, my happiness level is much higher now than it was at this time last year.  I'm also more aware of the blessings that I have in my life, and that always helps the positivity too.  I still get stressed out, and I still get sad, and I still get angry, but overall I'm more optimistic.  So positivity = ACHIEVED.


Time for the final count:

Goals Achieved: 8
Progress Made: 5
Goals Not Achieved: 0

I'd call that a success, wouldn't you?  Especially notice that none of the goals were not at least achieved in part...who says you can't keep New Years Resolutions?  The funny thing is that, after awhile, I stopped tracking the resolutions.  In fact, until I just reviewed the list, I didn't know that I had really achieved any of them.  So this was a nice surprise.

And now here we are...the end of a journey.  Numerically, I've acquired 17 followers, but I know that there are many more of you out there who have been traveling this journey with me by reading this blog, and I want to thank you.  Really.  If nothing else, knowing that people actually READ this thing guilt-tripped me into writing even when I didn't really feel like it (even if it was just a one-liner cop-out blog).  Even more important, though, writing this blog has given me a writing outlet, and let me see that my writing can be a source of inspiration, contemplation, and entertainment for others, which is an especially pleasing discovery given that I'm something of an aspiring writer.

So what will become of this blog?  As the URL indicates, this blog was conceived as a self-portrait for the year 2011...yet, as of 22 minutes ago, it is 2012.  Nonetheless, throughout the last year this blog has evolved along with me, and I don't see any reason to abandon it now, particularly when it provides me with a public place to write.  So here's the plan: I will continue writing, but I won't write every day.  I know that you'll miss those days when my posts are all about eating a grilled cheese sandwich and watching Friends on TV, but let's face it, some days I just don't have anything to write about.  And I think that's okay.  And now that I'm released from my write-every-day covenant (which, by the way, was also achieved), I'm going to write when I feel led to write.  The year may have ended, but another year lays on the horizon.

So keep checking back every so often, faithful readers.  The story's not over yet. :)

Eye Doctors

Today I went to the eye doctor for the first time in 11 years, because for some freak reason I started to have blurred vision in my left eye.

It was strange.

The cause of the drama is uncertain...I thought it was a scratched cornea (via a straw wrapper haphazardly thrown in jest), but eye-doctor-man said it looked more "toxic" - which, by the way, is not a comforting word to hear from the person examining your eye.  After the word "microblister" was thrown around substantially, I was sent off with eye drops and instructions to use them every half hour until I go to sleep, and theoretically things will be better in the morning.  Let's hope so, since I've got a travel day ahead of me.  And I prefer to keep my eye examinations a decade apart, so overnight healing would be for the best.

The emergency medical appointment actually afforded a lot of humor and sister bonding, and was followed by an evening of Chinese takeout, The Art of Getting By from Redbox, frozen custard, and playing Lego Harry Potter on Xbox.  And before the bizarre eye incident, my parents took me to lunch.  So actually, it was a pretty good day overall.  Wish I had a couple more days here, but it will be good to get back to Dallas too.

Only one more day in 2011!  Weird, isn't it?

Vacation

Video games, ice cream, and roast beef sandwiches filled the day.

This is vacation.

Today.

Today's notable event was successfully sighting Cardinals player and World Series MVP David Freese pulling out of his driveway.  That was exciting.

Also ate French food with my best friend.  That was good.

Saw Christmas lights with my family.  That was also good.

And that's that.