The Final Tally.

Well, it's December 31, 2011.  You know what that means.

My year of blogging has drawn to a close.

When I started out on this project, my goal was to give myself some means of accountability to those pesky New Years Resolutions that people like to make, given that I had quite a lot of them.  Although this blog evolved into less of a commentary on the self-improvement adventure and more into a writing outlet for general reflection, I think it only right that we take a look back at those resolutions, and see what's changed.  Because I like order and list-making, each resolution will be given one of the following labels: Achieved, Progress Made, or Not Yet Achieved.

So here we go!

1) Getting Fit

Well, the grand weight loss total for those of you keeping score at home is...wait for it...5 lbs.  YEAH baby!! To be fair, I actually lost about 12 pounds in the first half of the year, and then gained back 7 in the second half of the year.  But, I'm about 5 lbs lighter than I was at the beginning of the year, and that's something.  More specifically, that's a shirt size.  I also acquired some good exercise tools, including the purchase of a Wii Fit and Just Dance game, found some workout buddies, and gave my SMU fitness center membership a whirl.  All of these things could probably stand to be used a bit more, but I think this year has put some substantial tools in my toolbox.  With an arsenal of entertaining workout equipment and an overall loss of weight throughout the year, I think that although I may not have attained massive fitness change, I have set myself on the right path and given myself a good starting point for future fitness endeavors.  Therefore, PROGRESS MADE.

2) Eating Healthier

Let's be real, people.  I'm still not the healthiest of eaters.  I still have a weakness for Nutella and occasionally bake and eat an entire batch of cookies over the course of a week.  But, that being said, overall I've noticed that my general portion sizes have actually gone down, as far as most meals are concerns.  Furthermore, I've become less inclined to eat when I'm not hungry and more inclined to wait until I'm hungry to eat a meal.  Also, my present job provides me with a free nutritious lunch every day I go into work, courtesy of the senior citizens' nutrition program that the church hosts.  So, like the "Get Fit" resolution, I'm feeling pretty good about the reorienting that has happened this year; I may not be a super-health-freak, but I'm also not overeating quite as much.  Ergo, PROGRESS MADE.

3) Rejuvenating Relationship with God

To be very, very frank, this was probably the hardest resolution for me to keep.  Ironic, since I'm a seminary student.  I think this is a result of two things: first, the academicizing of God brought on by my school assignments, and secondly, my personal tendency to want to control everything about my life and contingent difficulty in trusting God for things.  However, recently (and I mean VERY recently, as in less than a month), I've started to move in a good direction with this, thanks to guidance from my internship mentor and others.  So, although I would have hoped for this resolution to have gotten more attention, I think it's fair to label it as PROGRESS MADE.

4) Getting Involved in a Church

This resolution was actually ACHIEVED with flying colors.  Within a month or two of the start of the year, I started regularly attending a weekly Bible Study comprised of five other women, and it's possibly one of the best things I could have done.  Although it took some work for me to become fully comfortable with myself and a lot of dedication to continue going even when I felt awkward (there's a lot of church baggage in my past), I'm so thankful for these women and for the opportunity the group gives me to talk about God in a context that isn't being graded.  For awhile, I was semi-regularly attending the local church out of which this Bible Study is based, but since I began working at another church in August I've obviously begun attending there and, equally obviously, got very involved with that church.  So thanks to pushing myself out of my comfort zone and thanks to my masters' program requirements, I am now more involved in a church than I have ever been previously.  Two thumbs up for resolutions achieved!

5) Being a Better Student

This resolution mostly boils down to the task of actually completing the majority of the readings assigned to us, and completing them in a timely fashion.  Although I'm not so sure how it happened, this past semester I completed nearly all the readings for two of my classes - the other class, I realized very early on, tested entirely from lecture notes, and therefore this reading regularly got chopped in favor of other classes that were more text-based.  But I came out of the semester with a 4.0 term GPA and a 3.976 cumulative GPA, which sets me up nicely for the possibility of a summa cum laude graduation in May.  I also got into the habit of having regular "study" days, created by the natural rhythm of balancing work, class, and homework, and that has been a really good thing.  So being a better student, and not just sliding by on a minimum amount of work has been wonderfully ACHIEVED.

6) Being a Better Employee

This goal was actually written in reference to my previous home-based job, which I quit in July.  But, carrying it over to my current job, I've found myself continually pushing myself out of my comfort zone in order to do the best job that I can, and biting the bullet of intimidating tasks head-on.  I've meshed really well with my current congregation, despite ethnic differences, and I've created projects from the ground up.  I have also found increasing clarity of vocation and now have a better idea of what sorts of jobs I will be applying for post-graduation (and have applied to several).  So being a better employee: ACHIEVED.

7) Being More Open

I defined this goal as "not holding grudges or judging people."  Honestly, this probably still needs some work. But, to open up the definition of "open," my current job allows me to interact with all sorts of people that I would never have previously had the opportunity to interact with, being an ethnically and economically diverse church.  I've established relationships with people of all colors, ages, and incomes, and I feel that I've grown significantly in seeing the beauty in people, regardless of their background.  So overall, I'll say that there has been PROGRESS MADE...even if I need to work on letting go of grudges every now and then.

8) Being More Confident

This was a good one.  I don't know how much you can plan to be confident, but different circumstances throughout the year certainly improved my general confidence here in Dallas.  I specifically think of my summer Greek class as a breaking point with this, when I built a general camaraderie with my classmates despite not knowing anyone in the class previously.  I also learned a bunch about dating/relationships, and have stopped "giggling like a moron when conversing with men," as my original resolution dictated (in most cases, anyway).  I've also become more vocal in class discussions and become comfortable as a young white women in a work context of multigenerational Filipino families.  So being more confident...that's been ACHIEVED, I should think.

9) Reading for Fun

In evaluating this goal, let's name off the non-assigned books that I've read this year, shall we?  We have, in no particular order, the entire Chronicles of Narnia, the entire Hunger Games trilogy, Revolution (a young adult novel) two or three mystery novels by Agatha Christie, The Great Gatsby, and smatterings of Pride and Prejudice and The Brothers Karamazov.  I think I'm missing some, but that's all I can think of at the moment.  I also got a Kindle for Christmas, so more fun reading is on its way, starting with Life of Pi.  So reading for fun: ACHIEVED.

10) Having Productive Hobbies

This goal might be understood as doing things besides sitting around on the internet and watching all day (very tempting pursuits when one lives alone).  Throughout this year, I've majorly improved my cooking skills just by the natural need to eat, continued playing the guitar, started out on crafting sprees, and recently ordered a professional keyboard.  But, I do still spend an inordinate time on the internet.  So let's say that there has  been PROGRESS MADE, but I'm looking forward to finding more creative ways to fill my time.

11) Exploring Dallas

Thanks to a DART pass and equally exploration-oriented friends, this has been ACHIEVED with fanfare.  In the past year I've located free sushi downtown, explored the West End, discovered the wonder that is Fort Worth, experienced a real Texas rodeo, attended a murder mystery dinner, savored fried foods of all kinds at the State Fair, and groomed horses on a classmate's farm.  I've heard lectures by Julie Powell and the Dalai Lama, and seen Laura Bush in person (and David Freese, though he's in fact in St. Louis).  I've also eaten at all sorts of restaurants and discovered back roads to avoid that notorious Dallas traffic.  Hooray for exploring cities!

12) Getting Involved in Community

I actually never made any concerted efforts to get more involved in the community...but, my current job has given me several opportunities to do so, such as helping with food distribution for the underprivileged and getting to know some of the residents at a local senior citizens center.  I also started regularly contributing to my home church's Ghana mission project, after reading The Hunger Games and realizing that, if those books were reality, I would be one of those frivolous Capital people (read the books and then you'll get the analogy).  Anyway, this discovery was convicting enough to jump start me into regular giving, which has helped me get involved in the worldwide community in an effective way.  So even if it occurred in a roundabout way, this goal has been ACHIEVED...but could obviously always have more added to it.

13) Being More Positive

I think that this blog has really helped me to have a more positive outlook on things...the entire purpose of this blog was, originally, to stop moping and griping about my depressing circumstances, and do things to actively change them.  I think that it has done that.  I've also come out of the particularly dark night that I was experiencing at the beginning of the year, most likely thanks to God more than anything.  But overall, my happiness level is much higher now than it was at this time last year.  I'm also more aware of the blessings that I have in my life, and that always helps the positivity too.  I still get stressed out, and I still get sad, and I still get angry, but overall I'm more optimistic.  So positivity = ACHIEVED.


Time for the final count:

Goals Achieved: 8
Progress Made: 5
Goals Not Achieved: 0

I'd call that a success, wouldn't you?  Especially notice that none of the goals were not at least achieved in part...who says you can't keep New Years Resolutions?  The funny thing is that, after awhile, I stopped tracking the resolutions.  In fact, until I just reviewed the list, I didn't know that I had really achieved any of them.  So this was a nice surprise.

And now here we are...the end of a journey.  Numerically, I've acquired 17 followers, but I know that there are many more of you out there who have been traveling this journey with me by reading this blog, and I want to thank you.  Really.  If nothing else, knowing that people actually READ this thing guilt-tripped me into writing even when I didn't really feel like it (even if it was just a one-liner cop-out blog).  Even more important, though, writing this blog has given me a writing outlet, and let me see that my writing can be a source of inspiration, contemplation, and entertainment for others, which is an especially pleasing discovery given that I'm something of an aspiring writer.

So what will become of this blog?  As the URL indicates, this blog was conceived as a self-portrait for the year 2011...yet, as of 22 minutes ago, it is 2012.  Nonetheless, throughout the last year this blog has evolved along with me, and I don't see any reason to abandon it now, particularly when it provides me with a public place to write.  So here's the plan: I will continue writing, but I won't write every day.  I know that you'll miss those days when my posts are all about eating a grilled cheese sandwich and watching Friends on TV, but let's face it, some days I just don't have anything to write about.  And I think that's okay.  And now that I'm released from my write-every-day covenant (which, by the way, was also achieved), I'm going to write when I feel led to write.  The year may have ended, but another year lays on the horizon.

So keep checking back every so often, faithful readers.  The story's not over yet. :)