A Photo Tour of the World's Largest Gift Store

As Spring Break draws to a close, it becomes necessary for me to make my valiant return to my home on the range (aka, my Dallas apartment).  Phase One typically consists of a 4 hour drive to a hotel in the southwestern corner of Missouri.  Unfortunately, due to persistent and semi-torrential rain, four hours turned into five and a half, as I was forced TWICE to pull of the road and wait out the rain.  The second stop included me walking bitterly around some random Lowe's for half an hour, pricing lawn mowers and water heaters to my parents and generally walking laps around the store while waiting for the rain to subside.  It wasn't all that interesting.

What WAS interesting was my first rain-induced stop: the World's Largest Gift Store.  That's right.  The WORLD'S LARGEST GIFT STORE.

Whether or not this is actually the world's largest gift store is up for debate.  But it was pretty huge:

Just to be clear, that's not actually the whole building...the World's Largest Gift Store is clearly too large for photographs.  

Inside a magnificent assortment of obscure treasures of the gift variety awaited me.  After standing in the store for about 6 seconds, I quickly realized that my unplanned venture into this store would be the most blog-worthy event of my day, and ran back out to my car to get the camera.  Now, for your viewing pleasure, here is what you can purchase at the World's Largest Gift Store...in photographic form.  

These 4ft-tall dolls in Victorian apparel...

This painting that resembles Diane's portrait in Ever After...

This angry garden stepping-stone instructing you to stop being lazy and WEED already...

This ornate brass clock...

A wide selection of animal print/striped/polka-dotted luggage...

This creepy display of realistic-looking fake pets....that "really breathed"...

These tire swings that look like horses...

The Mona Lisa...

This collection of creepy pandas...yay AOII?

A plethora of carved wooden motorcycles...

The world's creepiest Dora the Explorer and Elmo...

An original 1950s Box Car Derby box car...

A tall, armless woman in pink...

A Jesus bank...because Jesus saves, and so should you...

And, the most obscure, irrelevant, and unexpected piece of paraphernalia...

...Lucy's 1940s Cadillac. 

Just to clarify, that's an actual, legitimate car.  I doubt whether it's actually Lucy's cadillac (which would lead me to believe that it's the car they used for filming), but it is a real car.  They had it in this glass room, behind a locked door.  It was odd.  And there's no indication anywhere that you're going to happen upon an antique car...you just turn the corner by a bunch of beanie babies, Twilight posters, and quilted potholders, and suddenly there's a giant car on display.

Weird.

Still, according to the sign outside, none this really matters, because what the World's Largest Gift Store is REALLY famous for...

...is clean restrooms.

For the record, the restrooms weren't all that nice.  But they WERE clean.

Thank you for participating in the photo tour of the World's Largest Gift Store.  Please wait until the tour comes to a complete stop before exiting.  Enjoy your day!