The Face Theory

Today my friends and I talked at great length about my developing theory that there are only so many faces, and that they get reused as time goes on.  Meaning, of course, that your face was probably present on someone else's head at some point in history.

I've been considering this theory for awhile now (actually, it may or may not have been my mom who first suggested it), but its potential ramifications came to the fore when a former classmate posted a photo of a 19th century self-portrait of a Norwegian painter that bore a striking resemblance to my friend Matt.

Here we have Matt (and me.  Ignore me, I'm not important in this example).

And here we have the 19th-century painting:

It's strange.  Very, very strange.  A little...too strange.

Seeing this photo of the 1800s version of Matt pop up on my Facebook put me in mind of a similar instance that occurred a few years ago, when my sister happened upon a similarly old portrait of a guy that looked just like her friend Alex.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Then, a couple weeks later, I watched a documentary about Jackie Kennedy, and realized that she looks exactly like my friend Kelly.  Don't worry, I have photographic support.

Here is my friend Kelly (and me.  Again, ignore me.):

And here is Jackie Kennedy (with John F. Kennedy.  Ignore him too.)

As if this isn't enough proof, maybe you've seen the "Nicholas Cage is a Vampire from the 19th Century" story currently circulating around the internet:

Vampire?  No.  The Face Theory?  Yes.

And we've all had those instances when we see someone who looks just like somebody that we know, right? Isn't it so embarrassing when you stare at them awkwardly marveling at how much they look just like your college roommate or your sister's best friend?  Don't be embarrassed.  It's The Face Theory, people.

Yeah.  The Face Theory is the real deal.  Now there is nothing left to consider but its potential implications for society as we know it.  A greater appreciation for our past?  A sudden influx in belief in reincarnation?  A loss of individualistic identity in favor of communal identity?  Face-based cultural warfare?  Who knows...this could be the end of the world as we know it, or just the beginning...

I leave you now to your thoughts and reflections.  And as you go now into the world of your mind, may your face go with you.