Past, Present, and Princesses

A quick note about the fitness goal: I went to the SMU fitness center with a group of friends this morning, and the elliptical kicked my butt.  Fifteen minutes of that, plus 20 minutes on a stationary bike was enough to cause a 2 hour nap this afternoon (though, to be fair, that was likely related to the fact that I had class at 8am, and consequently woke up about 3 hours earlier than usual...)

Lately, I've been thinking about life; more specifically, how the events of our lives, small or significant, intertwine to create a coherent existence.  Let's be honest here, people: I have no idea what I want to do with my life post-seminary.  But that doesn't mean that I don't have interests and passions and skills, right?  So it follows, therefore, that elements of the past might lead to a hint of the future.  I don't pretend to understand how God works, but I'm thinking that God doesn't just drop you into things completely unprepared (even though it might feel that way occasionally)...I think God uses the past events of our lives to prepare us for the future, even in seemingly insignificant ways.

This idea kind of developed over time with the notion of a composite identity - a concept that struck me one day as I drove across Dallas while listening to my favorite band from high school, wearing a shirt that used to belong to my sister, and an AOII lavaliere.  My whole circumstance was, at that moment, made up of pieces of several phases and aspects of my life - high school, college, grad school, family, and friendship were all brought together in that one moment.  This got me thinking that our identities, and therefore the trajectory of our lives, may not be quite as straightforward as we'd like them to be.  Every moment plays into every other moment to affect future moments.  Think about it - if I hadn't gone to Transylvania, or if I didn't have a sister, or if a friend hadn't played me a Switchfoot CD in high school, one of those factors would have been different, and that moment would not have existed.

Then, tonight I was avoiding homework/clearing my mind by watching clips of Disney songs on YouTube, bouncing back and forth between French and English versions.  This eventually gave way to watching clips of the French-Canadian musical adaptation of "Notre Dame de Paris" (aka, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame).  It's better than it sounds; the lyrical and musical elements flow together seamlessly in a rather intoxicating manner.  Watching those clips shortly after watching clips of the Disney version, along with acknowledging a certain personality resemblance with my favorite Disney princesses (Pocahontas and Jasmine, if you were wondering, with some Esmeralda spice), made me kind of think about how even such little things as childhood movies were tied into my present self.

On a basic level, it's probably not too surprising that a French major's favorite childhood movies were "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and "Passport to Paris."  But those seeds of interest made me want to go to France, which in turn led me to choose French as my high school language (it also felt more sophisticated than Spanish or German), which in turn led me to France in high school.  But even past that, those tiny seeds of interest in French culture eventually turned into a French major, fluency in a second language, a semester spent in Paris, and a ministry career involving French translation and support of French ministries - with a passionate interest in French culture and 17th century court life as a side-effect.

When you trace your interests and passions back to their source, it's kind of weird how many little things worked together to develop your present circumstance.  I mean, what if my favorite Disney movie had been "The Rescuers Down Under?"  Would I have picked up and moved to Australia?  A silly example, but you get the point.

 Back to the Disney Princess personality resemblance, watching these YouTube clips tonight made me think that noticing which princess you most identify with (or other male protagonist, gentlemen readers) can give a lot of insight into your own personality.  This is assuming, of course, that a person's character preferences derives from both their inner basic core traits and an admiration of that character as a person they'd like to be.  For example, as previously mentioned, my favorites were Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Esmeralda (though not a princess exactly, she was the female protagonist, so she counts).

To an extent, I can see myself reflected in each of these characters: my adventurous spirit, my love of travel and exploring places, my curiosity...as well as my tendency to feel imprisoned by people's expectations, my occasionally stubborn nature, and my tendency to be somewhat discontented with present circumstances, always looking forward to the next thing.  Going off on another thread, one might place partial blame of my over-idealized notion of romantic love with my weekly viewing of "The Swan Princess," which I rented from Blockbuster almost every Friday as a child.  It's kind of funny how I can still relate to these characters as a 22-year-old woman, you know?  Makes me think that even things as trivial as movie preferences can tell us things about ourselves.

So, point of all this: even though I don't know where I'm going, I know where I've been (cue that song from "Hairspray").  I think that, to a certain extent, the past can give me some insight to where I'm going.  To that effect, I've made the following stream-of-consciousness, non-conclusive list of my interests, past and present:

• French Language
• French Literature
• Writing
• Music
• Singing
• Religion
• Leading Bible Study
• Talking about God with people
• Talking through faith issues
• Reading
• Travelling
• Baroque Music
• Le Grand Siecle
• Exploring New Places
• Museums
• Theatre
• Teaching
• Learning
• Developing strong relationships with people
• Making people laugh
• Giving advice
• Language
• Translation
• Relaying concepts in innovative/relevant ways
• Paris
• Montreal
• Helping people cope with their problems
• Bringing different people together 
• Being a connecting figure between groups of people
• Islam in France
• Preventing inaccurate/biased viewpoints
• Relating Biblical concepts in socially/culturally relevant ways
• Social Media as a Ministry Tool

Alrighty.  That's probably not all, but it's a good start.  And this post has gotten quite long, and it's 7 minutes past my appointed midnight bedtime for the semester, so I must be going.  If anyone has ideas of how these things fit together into a career/life path, let me know! Of course, we may not have all the puzzle pieces just yet... :-P