"The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to miss the train before." - Gilbert K. Chesterton

Monday, January 31, 2011

WINTRY MIX A'COMIN'! HIDE YOUR KIDS, BUY ALL THE CHICKEN!

As I'm sure every person reading this blog is aware (and as all 6 of you followers definitely are), the whole country is about to be hit with "the storm of the century," more affectionately known as the "snowpocalypse."  My friend Nick the Weatherman is in a panic, and probably rightly so...Missouri is going to get hit badly with ice, and I presume that Kentucky will be affected as well, being on the same latitude line.  Even down here in Dallas they're calling for a "wintry mix" tomorrow morning.  Wind chills are going to be in the single digits...it's probably going to be unpleasant.

However, from their forecasts, I don't foresee the weather being such that daily living is impaired.  

Will someone please tell me, then, where all the chicken has gone?

Seriously.

Tonight after my three-hour Monday class, I decided to quickly swing by the grocery store.  This decision was a result of three reasons: 1) a desperate need of postage stamps (Tom Thumb sells stamps...who knew?) 2) my depleting stock of food in the kitchen, and 3) a lack of time or energy to create a full-out grocery list.  These reasons in mind, I decided to just pop by the store and buy enough food to last me until Thursday or Friday, when I'll have more time to go to the store.  By enough food, I mean the supplies for chicken dinners and sandwich fixin's.  Nothing special.

So I walk in the store, already in one of those annoyed-with-all-people kind of moods that driving in Dallas traffic will put you in, and find that it is ridiculously crowded for 8pm on a Monday evening.  Still, I acquire my stamps at the customer service desk without issue.  Good.  Now on to the chicken.

And I'm telling you...I got back to the meat department, and ALL THE CHICKEN WAS GONE.  That's a slight exaggeration.  Actually, all the chicken was gone except for 3 packs of chicken breasts, of which I hastily chose the cheapest one and stuck it in my basket.  

I believe this lack of chicken means one of two things.  Either all Texans do their shopping at 8pm on Monday nights and categorically buy all the poultry on the last day of the month, or people are in a panic that a morning of "wintry mix" is going to trap them in their homes for days on end, leaving them without the easy access to chicken to which they have grown accustomed.

People.  Come on.

What I find interesting is that although other meats were somewhat lacking in quantity, it was nothing like the mighty chasm which overtook all three major chicken locations.  It seems that hamburger and pork are far inferior when it comes to winter-storm meats.  Also, despite the complete emptiness of the chicken breast/tenders display, there was a ton of bone-in chicken available for purchase (think drumsticks, wings, etc).  Even stranger, the frozen food section was still relatively full, even though those things last longer than raw meat.  If these people are trying to prepare for a winter storm food-wise, they're not really doing a very good job of it.

Although, the produce section was looking pretty sad too - all but one red pepper was gone, all but three orange peppers, and there were no fresh green beans to be had.  I guess that people want to be able to eat healthily when they're confined to their homes, so that's good.  Several people also had multiple wine bottles, and two guys in front of me had a keg of Heineken...probably to drown their fear and keep warm on the imminent blistery winter nights.  Although, the Heineken guys might just be in Super Bowl prep mode.  Or, you know, they're college guys who like to drink kegs of Heineken in their free time.  All of these are viable possibilities. 

There was also one guy blocking the entire section of yogurt with his cart, and standing back contemplating the choices as a king might contemplate which of his royal subjects to promote to knighthood and take into his court.  I don't even know what that was about.  I just know that he kept me from buying yogurt.
Anyway, I'm just thankful that I have my chicken.  Lord knows what I would do if it snowed and I wasn't fully stocked up on raw chicken breasts...


1 comment:

  1. OMG! I can't believe Texans are in an uproar over meat! Can't they just go out and shoot an elk like the Texans on T.V.? Guess not. But you seemed to handle the situation very well. You got your chicken and didn't cause a scene about there not being enough. Now I feel I must hasten to the local foodery and gather some chicken before our wintery mix hits. Good job by the way. It was funny how you were all mad about everyone coming to take your chicken, but you were also potentially depriving other people of chicken! Lol

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