A Semi-Dramatic Step Out of Character

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that the planner-goal thing works.  At least, I accomplished the two goals I had laid out for today.  It seems that if you break large goals into small, practical goals, they become much easier.  I'm sure some teacher told me that along the way, but I believe it more now.  Today, I had two goals: do at least two hours of CCFOF work, and buy a Wii/Wii Fit.

The first of these goals was accomplished with little moments of intrigue, and consisted entirely of translating a letter from French to English (word for word, not paraphrase, so it took awhile).  It's not really worth going into detail about, but in case you don't know what the CCFOF (my employer) is, I refer you to this website...you'd do well to take a look at it, because I'll probably mention it quite a bit throughout the year: www.ccfof.org

The second goal, that of Wii-filled glory, is much more worthy of note.  First of all, it must be said that spending significant amounts of money for non-life essentials at any one time is HIGHLY out of character for me...even more so if that non-life essential is a video gaming system.  But, it is something I have wanted for a long time, and something that I suddenly had the means to buy due to a generous gift of Christmas money on the part of grandparents.  Even so, it was kind of dramatic for my ever-frugal character.  I shall now recount to you the events which unfolded this afternoon.

Bringing my tech-savvy sister Hannah along for moral support, I drove the familiar roads to Target somewhat more apprehensively than usual.  Generally, the path to Target leads to some $10-$30 clothing purchase...rarely does it lead to a $300 purchase of video game paraphernalia.  Walking from the parking lot to the store entrance, Hannah rolled her eyes to my repeated "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh" mantra. Of course, Hannah feels quite at home in the electronics department; I myself only ever venture there for an occasional DVD (and since moving to a place with a Half Price Books less than a mile away, even that activity has become nearly obsolete).  And so there we were: standing in front of the locked glass case, staring at the Wii behind the glass.  The Wii was on sale for $20 off it's usual price (the fact that motivated me to go and buy it today at all), but was still somewhat daunting.  I began to doubt myself.  I paced about the end of the aisle, repeating over and over "maybe I shouldn't do this, maybe I shouldn't do this."  Hannah, with her arms folded, replied forcefully "Just DO it!"  "I don't know, I don't know," I said, continuing to pace to the TVs and back.  "It's CHRISTMAS money!  A GIFT!" Hannah reminded me.  At this, she had a point: if my grandparents had shipped me a Wii all wrapped in paper and such, I would have enthusiastically received it without question.  Even if I had cashed the check instead of depositing it in my account, it would have felt more gift-ish.  But, because the gift money had weaseled its way into my checking account - the account whose major purchases are things like apartment rent and furniture bills and groceries (you know, food and shelter, life-necessity things), I felt like the height of irresponsibility.

Suddenly, there he was in front of me, in all his khaki and red-polo glory: the Target Electronics Department guy, asking in the ever-friendly Target way, "Is there anything I can help you with today?"  Throwing caution to the wind, I said.  "Yes.  Can you get me a Wii Console and a Wii Fit package out of that case?"  "Sure," said the Target guy.  And so we proceeded to the cash register, and I handed over my $30 target gift card ("Little good that'll do," I muttered, much to the amusement of the sales guy.)  Add in a $17 warranty, and I swiped my card for a $290 luxury purchase.

The deed was done.

The funny thing was, once I got it home and set it on the table in close proximity to all the other Christmas gifts, it FELT like a Christmas gift.  And I was excited about it, and after resisting playing with it immediately in favor of doing that CCFOF work (bonus points for productivity!), Hannah and I spent the bulk of the evening playing with it.  And I love it :)

You see, I'm a person who, for the most part, lives entirely on federal student loans.  I have a full scholarship for my school tuition, and use my CCFOF paychecks to cover food, gas, and other incidentals.  But major things like apartment rent, textbooks, and the like are all being paid for with money that isn't mine, that I'll have to pay back one day.  For that reason, I've been super frugal lately.  The only luxury-spending I generally allow myself is eating out with friends (justifying it by the human need to eat) and an occasional $10 DVD purchase.  So frugal-Celia had a hard time accepting the luxurious gift that was given to her.  But I think maybe, from time to time, it's okay to not be totally frugal.  Not that money can buy happiness, but stressing out every time you spend money certainly doesn't lend itself to a happy demeanor.

One of my goals for this year is to create a budget.  Right now, my budget is simply "spend as little money as possible!"  But I've heard plenty of people say that there's a freedom that comes with living by a budget, and I agree with them.  The guilt factor gets removed, and you can enjoy the resources given you and rest comfortably in the fact that you're being a good steward of your money.

And anyway, the Wii Fit will help me in the "Get Fit" goal category, so it's not a completely arbitrary purchase.  Just a check mark on the way to accomplishing my goals for this year!