Following the Evil Prophet into the Desert (or, Learning Ancient Greek)

Foreign languages are my thing.  I seem to have a natural ability for them, and I love being able to decode sentences and translate them back to English.  It's like a big puzzle to figure out.  I also like being able to travel to foreign countries and communicate with the people there, and I absolutely love the insights into a country's history that are opened up by studying a language.  You have such a greater appreciation for a culture when you speak their language.

According to my love of languages, I have been happily bopping down the road to multilingualism, picking up languages here and there as they become available.  Besides being fluent in French, I speak bits and pieces of German, and as you know I am now enrolled in Greek at SMU.  Quadrilingualism, here I come.

In my first French lesson back in the 9th grade, I learned how to say "Hello, my name is ___" and "I am an American", closely followed by "I would like a ham sandwich, please."  German was fairly similar in its approach; the first lesson included lots of people walking around saying "Are you Maria?"  and "NO, my name is Christian Hansen!"  These phrases are somewhat useful in daily life...especially if you need to eat or determine a person's identity.  Simple phrases for concrete, necessary results.

Greek is different.

For one thing, I'm not learning 21st century Greek.  No, in true seminary fashion, I'm learning ancient Greek, with the aim of being able to read the New Testament in its original Greek form.  As I've been going through this class, I've learned to say all sorts of bizarre things, and I kind of think it's hilarious.  I would like to share with you some of the things that I know how to say in Greek.  Mind you, I am only a week and a half into this course (even if it is an intensive)...and here are some sentences I have translated thus far:

"A brother and a sister have land and they want to have kingdoms."

"The evil prophet is leading the children out of the church and into the desert."

"The children were praying on behalf of their sister, but they do not believe in the Lord and gods of stone do not answer."

"The heart of the small servant is faithful, but evil are the works of the master of the house."

"...and you didn't even gather the children into the houses!"

"The little sister does not want to see the dead child, for death is not good"

"Your sister and her child are in the boat, but they do not have bread."

"Our slaves throw a stone into the boat because they want to destroy it."

"These sinners are wicked, but we ought not to kill them."

"I was in the temple, but you were in the desert."

Yeah, these are all really odd sentences.  But I've also noticed that as the lessons progress, they seem to be getting mildly more violent.  Take these sentences from my last lesson, for example...

"The evil authorities were about to kill the teacher of righteousness and bring his head into the assembly."

"The demons stole the messenger's garment and threw it into the sea."

And, my personal favorite...

"You sent the children into the desert to die, and you did not save them.  This will be upon your heads."

Now there's a sentence you can use on a daily basis.

So yeah, I totally can read all kinds of bizarre and odd stuff in Greek.  I really find it hilarious, because I picture this ancient community having all this ridiculous stuff happening to them...evil prophets keep messing with the assemblies, and everyone is eating bread and riding in boats, and all the while apostles and disciples are proclaiming things about stones falling from heaven and the perils of sin.  

  

It's too bad no one will give those people a ham sandwich.

**In the spirit of learning pointless phrases in foreign languages, I give you Eddie Izzard's take on learning French.  If you speak French, I highly recommend you watch it.  If you don't speak French, you can still watch it, but it won't be quite as funny...